Nudity in the Locker Room

Whenever I go to the gym, I am always amazed at the vast amount of butt naked people wandering around the locker room blow drying their hair, weighing themselves, or shaving with their nutsacks resting on the sink. These people are very rarely even close to being in shape and they do things like stick a towel between their legs and ferociously dry their junk while casually discussing sub-prime mortgages with some other naked guy who is intently listening while checking out his butthole in the mirror. I don't understand this and what's more, my wife tells me that the women at the gym are very surreptitious about their nudity. She rarely even sees a nipple or butt crack. Again, I don't understand this difference. The female body is waaaayyy more tolerable and attractive than the male body. Even women agree about this. This is why when 2 girls start making out at the bar everybody is happy because their evening has been greatly enhanced. You hear things like "That was great!!" and "I sure am happy!" When 2 guys start making out, the crowd seems to disperse really fast and you hear things like "Let's get the hell out of here!" and "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"
So I guess this naked guy thing is something I'll have to get used to because it seems to have become an epidemic. But here's two really good rules that all naked locker room people should adhere to:
1.) If your penis is shorter than your pubic hair, you should either trim your pubic hair, or grow a bigger penis. I get SPAM everyday that wants to help me do this. Apparently it's quite easy.
2.) Don't talk to me. Even if I'm on fire.