Thursday, April 24, 2008

I need a BOOST!!

Here's a big difference between working in a small company and working in a big company. A big company feels the need to have these morale boosting activities periodically. Theoretically, they are supposed to make employees feel that work is fun and that the company cares about you. Practically, they are hoping that it makes you steal less staplers and post it notes, and also that if you become disgruntled you'll just kill your family, instead of killing a bunch of co-workers, and tarnishing the companies' reputation.
When I used to work at a large company, we had all sorts of things like this. Pizza parties and games and prizes and potlucks (Side note: If you hate making food for a potluck, volunteer to bring the silverware, and then steal a bunch of plastic forks from the kitchen). On Halloween we had pumpkin carving contests. Me and a couple other people spent a lot of time carving this bad ass monster/kitty looking thing. Some others did stuff even better than that. You know what won 1st prize? Some donkey butt carved the companies' stock ticker symbol into a pumpkin. It probably took about 5 minutes. Morale boosting indeed! So I found a bunch of pumpkin guts from a garbage and put them in the sink. I suppose I was just punishing the janitors, but my point was made.
The only positive to come from these activities was that one day we were participating in something called "Frozen Cornish Game Hen Bowling." The object was to knock down bottles with a frozen carcass. But when the announcement came over the P.A. system, it sounded like "Frozen Cornish Gay Men Bowling." Now this sounded like a fairly risque activity and I wondered how we were going to avoid lawsuits from all the frozen gay men, and the gay men in the office, they were all a little bit nervous, because none of them were 100% certain that they were not Cornish. I mean really, is ANYBODY 100% certain that they aren't Cornish? I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable saying that in a court of law.
So anyway, I work in a small company, and my idea of a morale boosting activity is to wear my gym clothes to the office. Better incentive for me. I sure do hope I'm not Cornish.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Seems to me the main difference for you is: working at a small company allows you to play with yourself while spewing jibberish - when you're not looking at mail-order Russian bride web sites.