In case you didn't know...

I was driving the other day when I smelled what had to be the worst, most disgusting thing I've ever smelled. I have no idea what it was, but I think it may have been 400 rotting elephant corpses or something similar to that. Really, I almost barfed all over the inside of my car, which would have hurt the trade in value.

The actual sentence that came out of my mouth was, "Gaw, it smells like inside buns out there!" The guy that was riding with me said "What's inside buns?" I was incredulous. I figured everybody knew that the grossest thing in the world was inside buns. Apparently it's just my family that knows this.

When I was younger my sister and I used to play this game. One of us would say, "I 1 the (Insert disgusting thing)" then the next person would say, "I 2 the (disgusting thing)" up until somebody would have to say "I 8 the diseased cow butthole" and then we'd laugh because somebody just admitted to eating a diseased cow butthole, which was funny to us, and passed the time well while my dad was getting us lost on some gravel road 10 miles east of nowhere.

So one day we were playing that game, and the disgusting thing du jour happened to be "inside buns" which, as you might imagine was the inside of the butt, which for a 17 year old, and an 8 year old is pretty gross. Then we prefaced "inside buns" with Grandma, and low and behold somebody had to eat "Grandma's Inside Buns" which we immediately realized was by far the most disgusting thing on planet Earth.

It's funny how stuff like that becomes a lasting part of your lexicon. "Inside Buns" will now and forever represent anything gross or funny looking or weird. It's definition has expanded over the years.

(To my sister at Prom)
- "You look like inside buns."

(Commenting on a weird smelling bowl of soup)
- "This soup smells a little inside buns-y."

(Reviewing Coldplay)
-"They sound like inside buns."

(When my son fell out of the van onto his face)
-"Nice going, inside buns."

There was even an offshoot of "inside buns" that I used for a while but then I stopped. "Inside Lungs." As in, "Quit choking on that string bean. You're going to cough out your inside lungs!!"

So anyway, this ought to settle the centuries old debate regarding the grossest thing in the world. It is, was, and always will be inside buns.