Some Fat Dude Gets Really Mad

Here's something I don't quite get. Why is it that people feel like it's OK to throw big temper tantrums at the grocery store? Maybe this is just something I've noticed, but I can think of at least 5 different instances that I can bear witness to, where a grown human being, possibly at least partially educated, went bonkers at the store.

What makes me wonder about this is that it just happened yesterday afternoon. I was at SuperTarget, buying super ropes and freezies, and when I got near the checkouts I heard a big, loud commotion. Being the curious fellow that I am, I snuck over to hear the drama. There was a very large, angry man berating some Target worker. He was very overweight and his face was beet red. He looked as though he would probably be in a big coffin sometime soon. From what I could gather, he was incensed about the price of a big fire truck he was buying and he wanted to make sure God and everybody knew about this injustice. The whole thing was a little absurd.

Angry Guy: It said $7.99, I want you to honor your stated prices.
Target Guy: Sir, this item is $19.99, with tax the total is $21.29. I apologize, this item must have been placed on an incorrect shelf.
Angry Guy (Getting Angry): That is NOT my problem! Your error should NOT cost me $13.
Target Guy: Again, I apologize, but $19.99 is the price of this product.
Angry Guy (Really Angry): GOD DAMMIT!! So you're just the law when it comes to everything now? How much are these tic tacs, 4 million dollars? GOD DAMMIT!!

Now I begin giggling. That made no sense.

Target Guy: Sir, the tic tacs are $.79.
Angry Guy (Super Angry): JUST LIKE IT SAYS!! I WANT THIS TRUCK FOR $7.99, GOD DAMMIT!! JUST LIKE IT SAYS!!
Target Guy: Sir, I can't give it to you for that price.

I thought fire was going to shoot out of his nose. This was getting fun.

Angry Guy (Way too angry): SONOFABITCH FUCKER!!

Then the coolest part happened. He threw the fire truck way high up in the air, like he was doing a basketball granny shot. Everybody stared at it but nobody did anything. It landed with a big crash on the floor. Nobody moved, even the angry guy. Everybody was staring at the fire truck, including me and some other people that it had landed nearby. Then at the exact same time everybody turned their heads and looked at the angry guy. He looked like he had accidentally murdered somebody. Without a word, he took off out the door. Evidently the realization of what a crazy idiot he was had hit him pretty hard. Everybody began to try to get things back to normal but the interesting thing is that nobody even glanced at the fire truck, let alone came to pick it up. It was like it had ceased to exist.

This angry guy had managed to make about 1000 square feet of people feel awkward all at the same time. It made me wonder some things. Why did he decide to throw the fire truck up in the air? What good could have possibly come from that? Did this guy have some little kid he was going home empty handed to, because he wouldn't shell out another 13 bucks for a fire truck? Did he yell at his family the same way? Is this his first supermarket fit? He seemed like a seasoned pro.

As I was standing there pondering all this stuff, I noticed that my freezies were leaking freezie juice out the bottom of the container. I got very mad. I considered throwing my freezies high in the air to express my displeasure. I held back my urges. I felt I've learned a valuable lesson.

P.S. Whenever anything goes wrong from now on, I'm going to yell "SONOFABITCH FUCKER!!" really loudly. It just seems like a fun thing to do.