Monday, February 23, 2009

From the Desk of Tony the Idiot.

Here's something that really bugs me that I bet a lot of you can relate. Did you ever do a contract hit on a guy, and then afterwards you gotta put plastic down in your trunk and secure it real good so he doesn't drip all over, and then you gotta lug his big heavy body up into the trunk, and then you gotta drive for ever out to some random place. Ugh, it's already taken up like 4 hours.

So then you get there and you start digging this big hole for him and that takes like 2 hours, and you're all sweaty and dirty and tired, and you always forget to bring some Aquafina or something so your mouth is all dry and you can't do anything about it, and then you finally turn around to get this guy out of the trunk and he's gone!!!

Isn't that irritating?? You do all this work and the guy runs off. Don't you always check under the car and in the back seat? The guy is never there though. Then you always think to yourself, "I shouldn't have my Ipod on full blast when I'm digging graves." But you know the next time you'll wear your Ipod again. You can't dig a grave without a Ipod.

So then you kinda half heartedly search through the corn, but corn hides guys pretty well, so then you just give up and drive back. Jimmy TwoLegs is always so pissed too when you tell him. It's not like he never made a mistake. What about the Tranny in Hoboken Jimmy, what about that huh?

Aww, life is tough sometimes. It's a good thing I can crochet, that's all I know.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What?

Anonymous said...

OK so nobody got this one. So sorry.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was brilliant and I could definitely identify with the story....

Keep 'em coming!