Theory 1

Here's something I came up with a while ago. The size of your head is directly related to the size of your butt. I don't mean horizontally, there are some unfortunate people out there with normal sized heads and asses the size of studio apartments, and then there are people like me with smaller butts but heads that can absorb nuclear accidents. I'm talking about length of head and length of butt. Without fail, this is true. I defy you to get a tape measure, measure your head, and then measure your butt and find a reasonable difference. FYI, for those of you trying to estimate your overall athleticism, being able to measure your own butt is worth 1.5 units.