I have this small problem with my cell phone. Actually I have two problems with it. The first is that it doesn't work in Mexico so the only way to communicate with someone not in the same room as you is to scream like Pee Wee Herman at the secret word (or a horrorporn movie, if that exists.) But screaming in Mexico has unintended consequences, the worst of which is that it makes thousands of little Mexican dudes scuttle like beach crabs over to me. "I don't have any bags, I don't need a taxi, I don't want a Dos Equis, and get that fricking conch out of my face! Sucks to your ass-mar! I'm just using an old fashioned cell phone."
But my biggest issue with my phone is that periodically it and my pocket like to get together and play little tricks on me. They start small. I'll take out my phone, open it up and wonder "Who could have possibly had the patience to type 14000 number 8's?" Then sometimes I'll hear someone saying "Hello?!?!" inside my pants and for just a split second I wonder if my penis has learned to talk. That would be a whole other problem, having a penis that talked too much. But I digress. The other day my pocket and cell phone got together and made the phone make noises that I simply cannot replicate. It's very frustrating to be dumber than your pocket even when it's in kahoots with your phone. At least I'm smarter than my shoes. They sat out in the garage all last night. Morons!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment