Old Food

Here's a strange little quirk of mine. I am deathly afraid of eating food that is past it's expiration date. I'll eat poison if it's in a buffet and I'll eat poop if it's on a dollar menu, but I'd have to make sure the poop and poison were fresh beforehand. I am especially weary of anything in the refrigerator door because usually that's where the condiments and dressings are kept and you're fucked if you pour expired dressing over something. You just have to throw that something right in the garbage. You can't try to wash off the old dressing because no matter how hard you try, there will still be old, gross, expired molecules over all over your food. Yuck!! I have a friend who always covers his beer with his hand whenever anybody farts because he is concerned about "shit molecules" getting inside his beer. I suppose the two fears are similar.
But are my fears unfounded? I don't think so. One time I drank some milk that was so old it had chunks in it. Needless to say, I barfed soon after. One time I bought a case of Busch Light and I forgot about it and left it in the trunk of my car all summer. When I went back to school I gave it to a buddy of mine and he drank it all. He then went on to have a subpar baseball season. Coincedence?? I think not.
Update: My dad just made and ate a quesadilla with softshell taco shells whose expiration date was August 27. What was he thinking? He had to move some pickles and the baking soda to get to them. He just went home sick. The timing is incredible