Strippers are overrated

Why is it that people are so fanatical when it comes to strippers? I understand that they are naked, which is always a positive, but personally, they make me unconfortable. I had an old buddy call me up last week and say "Hey, I'm turning 33, we're getting a bunch of strippers over here to celebrate. You should come, they're gonna be naked. STRIPPERS DUDE!!!" Now, I understand that some birthdays hold more significance than others, but what's so special about 33 that requires naked chicks? The double numbers? Did you get strippers when you were 11 too?
Here's the most important thing though. Strippers don't like you. At all. Matter of fact, they're probably repulsed by you. Even if you have a 20 inch weiner and no pants. I was at a bachelor party once and I overheard the strippers making fun of everybody during their break. "Ew, he's fat" "Look at that guy's hair" "His head is too big" "Ugh, I bet that guy's balls smell really bad" etc...
Look at their routine if you believe their having a good time.
1.) They enter your house packed together like saltines and stare around nervously for a while.
2.) They rush over and do shots of whatever you have; whiskey, J.D., Malibu, turpentine, rubbing alcohol. This is so they can get naked near you without crying
3.) They go in a room for a loooonnnnnggg time. Everybody gets grumpy and starts to wonder if they all pulled an Andy Dufresne and escaped out a hole in the house.
4.) They finally pop out and get naked. They are new to stripping and kinda drunk so it is awkward. One of them falls over trying to get her day-glo butthuggers off around her giant high heels. (Side note: What is sexy about high heels? They scare me. They look pointy and sharp, like they could pierce human skin. Getting gored is not a turn on for me.)
5.) They grind on people. The music is loud, the people are loud, and it smells like cigarettes and fruit. Somebody inevitably tries to pay a stripper for sex. He is unsuccesful, and extremely relieved.
6.) They take a break, go do more shots, and make fun of all the people there. Someone comes up and asks a stupid, non-nudity related question like "So, any of you girls like Boston Legal?" or "So, anybody here from East Bethel?" They mock him.
7.) Somebody gets pissed because he thinks the strippers stole the poker buy-in money. Chaos ensues.
8.) The strippers are hustled away by that "handler" guy who shows up to make sure there isn't any casual raping by the patrons.
Sounds like a fun night for those girls huh? I don't understand the allure