Fun With Initials.

Here's a fun thing to do. The next time you are addressing a person, either via e-mail, or in a face to face conversation, only refer to them by some random initials. I've found, to my absolute delight, that if you call somebody by random initials, they always think that you are making fun of them in the meanest way possible.

Person: Hey there, how've you been?
You: Pretty good B.A., I've been doing pretty good.
Person (thinking): B.A., what's B.A.? Oh no, he's noticed how big my ass has gotten lately! He's calling me "Big Ass!!" AAAHHHHH!!

So then Big Ass runs down to the nearest Big and Tall store and buys out all the muumuus, just because you called him B.A. His self esteem is shot and he now only dates really mean, unattractive women who all call him "Big Ass" because he made the mistake of telling them that people call him B.A. which he thinks stands for "Big Ass" but it actually stands for nothing. See how fun this can be??

When you get bored with using only two initials try using more. See what dirty secrets you can cull from them. People usually have a lot of dirty secrets..

Person: Hey there! Long time no see, Hombre!
You: What's happening M.A.C.? Good to see you!
Person (thinking): Uh oh. Is it possible that he knows that I Molest Autistic Children?? Or that sometimes I go to the zoo and Munch Animal Crap?? Or that I am the one who Murders African Clerics?? Does he know about the embarrassment of my Muddy Anal Caking?? AAAHHHHH!!

One note of warning. Don't do this to a person who might be mentally unstable enough to kill you if they believe you know their dirty secrets. That would qualify as a joke that backfired. Otherwise, go forth and multiply.