I have the stupidest dreams.

I've come to the conclusion that I may have the most stupid and pointless dreams in the history of people or dreams. I've heard it said that dreams are whispers from the soul. If that is the case, I must have a pretty stupid soul. I'd hate to think that when I die, the only remnant left of me is my moron soul. I once saw a person who was supposedly an expert on interpreting dreams. From what I could gather, any dream you have can be interpreting as meaning that you are an in-the-closet homosexual.

Me: So here's what I dreamt. (Explains pointless dream.)
Dream Interpreter: Hmm. Very interesting. Perhaps you're gay.
Me: Um.....

Basically all my dreams fall into 4 categories, none of which are very interesting.

1.) Falling on purpose- I've heard that many people have dreams where they are falling and it's scary and they wake up all sweaty and pee soaked. It's supposed to represent a loss of control of something in your life. Not me. I'll be riding a zip cord across the Grand Canyon and for no good reason I'll just let go. Then I float down. Not very scary at all.

2.) Pointless conspiracy theories-The other night I dreamt that I had noticed that there were no people in the world named "Maurice" anymore. Nobody would tell me why. Government conspiracy. I've also dreamt that many people were riding around on those bicycles with enormous front wheels, like the type you'd see in a picture from the 1900 World's Fair, and I couldn't figure out how they got all the way up to the seat. Nobody would tell me. Government conspiracy. Dumb.

3.) Plots for really horrible movies- Last night I dreamt that I was going to school at a Historically Black College. I was having a tough time adjusting to being a minority and I was about to quit when a kind but firm professor took me under her wing and taught me the confidence to succeed. It was kind of like Finding Forrester in reverse.

4.) Random things-These are the dreams I have most often. It's just life happening. I really don't even need to be asleep to see these things. I could just go to the mall.
.....A guy eats a sandwich
.....Some kids run around
.....A dog goes by
.....A girl yells at her mom
.....Somebody drops a nickel on the ground.
Then I wake up and wonder what the possible point of dreaming about that was.

Someday maybe I'll have a great dream. Probably not though.