I have an inordinate number of friends who's wives have fetuses in them right now, in some cases more than one. I even get Cervix Health Status Reports from time to time which is sort of strange. It got me thinking about the best piece of advice I ever received. EVER!! Bar none, this was the most crucial thing I've ever learned in my entire life.
The lesson is this: When your wife is having a baby, at the point when the baby actually comes out of the person, FOLLOW THE BABY!! Keep your eyes completely focused on the baby. Look at nothing but the baby. Don't make the mistake of looking at where the baby came from for even a split second, because you will be permanently scarred, kind of like looking at an eclipse without a sheet of paper with a tiny hole poked in it. I had a friend who I hadn't imparted this wisdom to and he said he saw something that looked like a purple satchel plop out. Oh lordy, I have no idea what that would be. The human body can be pretty gross.
So there it is. The most important thing ever. You're welcome.
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