I get myself in trouble in the bathroom

Here's something I bet some people have done before. The other day I was in the bathroom at Target, in the stall, just minding my own business, and trying to ensure that nobody accidentally walked in on me or tried to Larry Craig me, when I started thinking about this morbidly obese man I had recently seen. He had a red sweatshirt, red sweatpants, and was wearing a red stocking cap. He looked a lot like the big Kool-Aid mascot guy, the one that used to crash through the wall in commercials.

The more I thought about Kool-Aid man, the funnier it became to me, so eventually I started chortling and eventually laughing out loud, alone, in the stalls of Target.

Now of course there's like 3 people milling about outside the stall at this time, peeing or washing their hands, or doing drugs or whatever, and all the while there's some weirdo in the stall giggling.

When I think of it in those terms, I immediately stop laughing. I am overcome with a completely rational concern. My concern is that the people outside the stall will hear me laughing and think that I am laughing at my own poop. I don't want people to think this, so I start to cough to try and convince all the random people that the laughter they heard was actually just a weird form of coughing. I don't think they are convinced. Now I am embarrassed so I remain perfectly still and I pick my feet up so nobody can see me. I will do this until everybody leaves. But they don't leave quickly enough because some other guy comes into the stall next to me and it sounds like an army is marching out of his butt.

I am faced with a serious dilemma. Do I stay in the stall and listen to the butt symphony going on next to me, or do I leave and risk the people who think I laugh at my own turds seeing my face. I decide to leave. I stand up and realize that one of the people in the bathroom is the really fat Kool-Aid man who I was laughing at in the first place. I decide this is a good omen. Just for the record though, I don't think my poop is all that funny. Maybe mildly amusing, but only if it's an odd color.