Every once in a while the stars align, the planets revolve in perfectly concentric circles, and the child predator's internet connections go bad all at the same time. When this happens, you can really see some entertaining things. It happened the other day when I was at the gym.
I was walking in, when I noticed that they had switched the locker rooms around. The Men's Locker room had become the Women's Locker room, and vice versa. I immediately had this thought.
"Hmm, it would be really hilarious to me if some idiot walked into the wrong locker room."
No sooner had I thought that when a big surly biker guy walked up and started shuffling into the women's locker room. Now, the two ladies folding towels nearby saw him too, but they only saw his back, and he had a big, long, braided ponytail hanging off his head. So, from the back, it was difficult to tell if he was a big, surly biker guy, or just a big, fat, stinky girl.
The two towel folders were looking at each other, in an obvious state of concern. I couldn't take it any more so I said:
Me: A dude just walked in there.
Towel Folder: Good LORD!!!
About one second later there was a bunch of screaming. It was like one of those old cartoons where a mouse walks into a circus tent full of elephants. I am jumping up and down in place and pointing at the locker room hole by now. What a great show!!
About two seconds after that the biker guy sprints out covering his eyes. He runs right into the large bin of towels that is on wheels. The towel bin falls over and makes a loud noise. The entire gym stops doing anything. The guy is almost crying, he's so upset.
Biker Guy: There are.... WOMEN in the men's locker room!
I start to cry, poop, and pee my pants simultaneously because I am laughing so hard. Then, a gym manager type guy quickly walks up to the biker guy. He looks angry.
Gym Guy (Incredulously): Why did you go in the women's locker room?
Biker Guy (Nearly Hysterical): The Men's room....there were women!!
Gym Guy: This is the Women's Locker room. You can't go in there ever again! OK?
The biker guy takes off. He just runs out the door and leaves. I am really happy to have seen all this.
Here's the kicker. As the smoke starts to clear, I find myself walking back next to the gym manager guy.
Me: Geez, poor guy. He must have been really embarrassed.
Gym Guy: Shit dude, that's the third time he's done that this week.
Let me reiterate. So happy I saw all this!
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1 comment:
Dude, that was me. It was not on purpose. But I did see some snatch-o. Yep yep.
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