I've seen a lot of really crappy movies lately. The actors are OK but the plots are either really stupid, or in some cases totally absent. In that vein, I've decided to come up with a lists of movies that would be awesome if somebody made them.
-A guy travels back in time to save the dinosaurs from extinction, but while he's there he finds out that the dinosaurs are actually high tech cyborgs made by super intelligent midgets who live on the sun.
-A lawyer fresh out of law school has to defend a boy with down syndrome and kennel cough who is accused of robbing an ice cream truck. They have a love affair during the movie. The lawyer could be a boy or a girl.
-People's boobs begin falling off at a rapid rate. A former gay meth addict turned Private Eye, has to put aside his immense dislike for boobs to find out the biggest secret of all and save Bra companies from certain bankruptcy.
-A OJ Simpson biopic, told from the bloody glove's point of view
-A college slacker and pothead learns that his new roommate is his Anthropology professor who is constantly bleeding from both of his eyes. Hilarity ensues.
-A little league team is sold to an Asian sex ring against their wishes. A former pro ball player who disgraced himself in the World Series by throwing up on Hank Aaron is hired to bring back the team before their big game. Can he find redemption and love in the seedy underbelly of Bangkok?
-A bunch of nerds keep getting beat up by the football team. They invent a potion which turns shoulder pads into venomous spiders. Hilarity and death ensues.
-A man journeys to Alaska to find true serenity. While there he falls in love with a moose.
-A guy can make his couch come to life by saying a magic phrase while wearing snake skin ballhuggers and Rude Dog slip on's. The couch comes alive and they have wild adventures.
-A gang member with a soft spot rescues a kitten from a tree. His homies watch the act of kindness and proceed to beat the piss out of him repeatedly for "being a beeeotch". Hilarity ensues.
Don't tell me that you wouldn't spend $8.50 to see these winners because you'd be a lying lieface if you did. Also, don't steal my ideas. Stealers.
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2 comments:
Perhaps the stupidest blog ever.
Yes, this is very dumb. Why am I laughing?
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