So lately I've been watching a lot of the Olympics on TV, mainly because my wife is watching them and it's a lot easier to just sit there than to try and negotiate some kind of fair and balanced TV deal. I'm a path of least resistance guy, always have been, always will be. It's also a little bit because I have somehow developed a giant man crush on Michael Phelps for all of his winning even though his mouth has way too much space in it, especially in between his teeth and gums. I don't understand it, but he has a little compartment there. It's probably where he keeps his gills.
I've also watched some beach volleyball and I think it's safe to say that I have no idea who wins or loses these matches, only that they are the Olympic equivalent of the lingerie models playing "football" at halftime of the Super Bowl
Wife: Wow, what a nice rally.
(Brian says nothing while mouth is hanging agape while staring at chicks butts)
Wife (pointedly): Brian? Nice rally huh?
Brian (confusedly emerging from butt coma): HUH?? Too much splash?
Wife: Wrong event dummy.
Finally, I've noticed that they aren't showing too much of the outside of Beijing. I've heard that a giant cloud of mysterious crud settled over the top of the city on the day the Olympics started and nobody knows what it is but it won't leave. They keep calling it smog, but it isn't smog. It's like a really big ghost that likes Synchronized Diving or something. I keep hoping they send Godzilla in to fight it. Imagine that. Godzilla vs the Giant Smog Ghost. That would be way more fun than the Olympics. Either that or send in the Mystery Machine. Then they'd eventually find out that the Giant Smog Ghost was actually Mr Carruthers the handyman, and Scooby-Doo would eat a gymnast and everybody would laugh. Again, that would be way more fun than the Olympics.
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