The Not-So-Funny Pubic Hair Joke

I was in a public restroom the other day, and I walked into a stall and there was a bunch of pubic hair laying everywhere. It was obvious that some sort of frenzy had happened in there. You know when cats or birds have a prolonged fight, and then afterward there's a big clump of fur or feathers, and even if you didn't see it, you know you're at the site of a battle. It was like that. Somebody was dick fighting!

Anyway, I left that bathroom in a hurry, just in case the dick fighters came back. I didn't want to get caught in the middle of that.

It reminded me of this time in 9th grade. It was actually the 1st day of 9th grade, and back then I was an even goofier looking, less confident version of my current self. The very first class I had was a Math class, probably something like Algebra I. The first thing we did in Algebra I was receive a syllabus and our math books. The math books we received were several years old, and had been passed down from the last Algebra class. So I opened my math book to try to ascertain how hard high school math was going to be, and I was flipping through the pages. I got to one page and almost shrieked like a sissyboy. There was a big pile of pubes in my math book. So there I was, 10 minutes into my high school career, and somehow I had gotten the pube book. It was fairly obvious that somebody had chopped off a large portion of their pubes, shoved them into the math book, and shut the book, knowing full well that eventually somebody else would open the book, see the pubes and maybe shout, "Yarrgh! Pubes!"

Since I was a little too shy to shout, "Yarrgh! Pubes!" I just shut the book and felt uncomfortable about high school until the period ended. When the period ended, I figured I had to do something. I couldn't, in good conscience, stick a book into my locker with somebody else's pubes in it. That would have been weird. So, I sheepishly walked over to my teacher and said, "Excuse me sir, I need a different book. This one has pubes." Not surprisingly, the teacher looked at me like I had 3 heads. Then he saw the pubes and was equally horrified, and I could tell that he was trying to figure out if I could have possibly smuggled in a bag of my own pubes and stuck them in the book. I think he must have determined that that was an unlikely scenario, so he just gave me another book, but sufficed to say my high school days were off to a bizarre start. I never did find out who's pubes they were, which is odd, because I had figured that eventually I'd hear somebody saying, "HAHAHA, I stuck pubes into a math book once," and then I would punch that person in the crotch.

So, in case anybody knows who did it, I got the pube book and I was not amused!