What has become readily apparent to me is that there are no real hookers that look like Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman. More often than not they look more like Richard Gere, if Richard Gere was an obese black woman with no teeth and a gerbil stuck up his butt. Good lordy, I can't believe someone would actually pay to have sex with these people. I wouldn't let them scrub my bathroom, let alone place my weiner in their innards.
I'll take it one step further. I would rather masturbate with fire than pay for one of these prostitutes. In fact, they should be paying me for having to look at their mugshot. Ish.
Anyway, all these prostitutes seem to congregate in the Frogtown neighborhood of St Paul, which seems stupid, because even the most casual pervert knows that's where they are, and so do the cops. So when the cops run out of things to do, like setting up speed traps, and putting on their sirens to go through red lights to get to Wendy's faster, they probably just say, "Hey Bruce, let's go over to Frogtown and arrest some ugly prostitutes!"
I also heard that the police shot a bear wandering around in Frogtown the other day. The cops were probably there arresting prostitutes at the time.
Cop 1: You're under arrest for being an ugly, 240 lb prostitute. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, and we might taser you for sport.
Cop 2: Holy shit Harry, is that a bear?
Cop 1: Nah, it's probably just a hairy prostitute.
Cop 2: Can we shoot it?
Cop 1: The bear or the prostitute?
So they went over and shot the bear before he could scare away all the prostitutes, thus solving two problems at once.
